Monday, June 21, 2010

Capello method blamed for Petersfield slump

A spokesman for the Capello Management Technique© responds
badly to criticism from a Petersfield Newswire reporter

We apologise for the dearth of decent Petersfield Newswire stories lately - but we have been employing a new Capello management method.

In order to keep our writers, ahem, fresh, they are told just two hours before deadline whose turn it is to write today's story.

Unfortunately, so far, it has not proved as successful as we had hoped as writers have invariably been 'taking their son to athletics', 'watching Italy/Brazil/Argentina in the World Cup', or simply 'down the pub' when they get the notification - hence not giving them time to prepare.

In addition, those who have been aware of their selection have seemed disinterested, unable to string more than a couple of words together, and write like they've never met any other members of the Newswire team.

"We're beginning to suspect that this Capello management method is not as good as it was cracked up to be," said a Newswire spokesman. "We may have to revert to good old traditional 'kick and rush' style of writing which proved more successful in the past.

"And if that fails, we'll just lump a few story ideas to the big bloke up front."

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